Are my Social Media Posts my Boss’s Business?

Celebrities and “ordinary folks” have been finding themselves in the crosshairs at work due to something that they said on social media that came to their boss’s attention.

The question is: should an employee’s social media account even be the boss’s business?

Watch the video above and let us know if you think that what we put in our “private space” is fair game for our bosses.

GENERATION WARS AT WORK (PART III)

Tigers fight” by @Doug88888 is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Welcome back! First of all, thank you for all of the positive and constructive feedback received in private messages via diverse media. I always love to hear your views. I encourage you to say your piece in the comments sections to facilitate larger discussion and engagement. These articles are not sermons, but points of discussion. You may use a pseudonym if you desire anonymity.

Also, for those who asked about further information on some of the terms and concepts I mentioned, essential information can be found by clicking on the words highlighted in blue, such as the word “trust” below.

Getting back to the matter at hand, as inferred in the previous articles, building trust, however tenuous, is going to be one of your most critical pursuits. As an external hire, or younger internal hire for that matter, to be frank, you come in at a deficit. This status does not have to be permanent, it just means that you have to be willing to put in the work. One of the crucial building blocks in your foundation of trust is communication.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Communication is not just about getting your message across. Often when persons say someone needs to communicate better, their interpretation is that the message needs to be clearly articulated. In management, I have seen many get stuck in the sender phase. They send out memos articulating their views or have monologues in meetings. The messaging is clear, which is fantastic, especially when connected to transparency. Still, is this enough to stimulate trust?

I recall, over fifteen years ago, having numerous, frustrating interactions with the mother of one of my daughter’s friends. She was a lawyer turned housewife and had the bad habit of cutting me off whenever I was speaking. It came across to me that she felt that whatever she had to say was more important. It is only on reflection years later, that it occurred to me that her bad habit may have been cultivated in the courtroom. It may have served her well in making a witness or rival attorney lose their balance, but it did not serve her well in her personal life.

By the time she and I had met for the first time, I had been trained in effective listening and communication in university, but I did not want to come across as overbearing and tried to devise subtle ways to break her habit. For example, I tried modelling positive behaviours but she was oblivious. I eventually mentioned to her quietly what she was doing, and how it impacted our communication. She actually made an effort for a while, but her habit was so ingrained that she went right back to what she was doing previously.

Our daughters became very close so I was seeing her at least 5 days a week, despite the fact that we had very little in common. The more we interacted, over the years, I found that I picked up her bad habit and it bled into other social relations. I do not know if it was a case of beholding and becoming changed or that I felt the need to match her toe-to-toe. Whichever way you looked at it, we were two intelligent women, who had mastered the English language, and eloquently articulated our views . . . but we were not communicating . . . because neither was truly listening to what the other had to say. We also never learned to trust each other.

I had to reteach myself to be a better communicator, and it is an ongoing process. I have learned to depend less on my words and more on listening effectively and conveying understanding of what is being said via feedback. In interacting with your new colleagues, I recommend paying attention to these tips which are influenced by the cycle of effective communication.

1. Start by being a good receiver of the information your colleague conveys. Pay full attention. Try not to be distracted. Focus on what your co-workers are saying. You will have several matters on your mind, I am sure, but do your best to be mentally present so that you may wholly understand their concerns.
2. Be sure that you understand what they are saying. Use reflective listening to let them know that they are being heard and also to clarify that you understand their messages. Summarising what they are saying or asking questions for clarity are both useful. Body language is also important here. Not only for you to pay attention to theirs, but you also need to be aware of your own. Avoid tense postures such as folding your arms and be sure to nod your head from time to time to let them know you are still with them. Also pay attention to your tone.
3. Think before you speak. Feedback is the final stage of this process before it restarts and it is important to get it right. Carefully formulate what you are going to say and how you will say it. Avoid being judgemental and consider possible reactions to what you may say to help you choose the best approach. Be sure about the message you want to convey and the objective you are trying to achieve with your response. By this point, you have transitioned from the receiver to the sender in this communication process.

Be Approachable

No one will want to communicate with you if you are aloof. I also know that it is quite possible that you may want to project an air of austerity so that your position of authority is understood and cemented. It is a delicate balance and you will need to be shrewd in deducing when to exude an air of gravity versus an air of friendliness without familiarity.

Let persons know that your proverbial door is always open. Encourage feedback in meetings. Emphasise the importance of teamwork and present opportunities for individuals to play to their strengths. If you find that you always seem to be overwhelmed with work and you do not have time to hear worker concerns, make that time by scheduling one-on-one meetings if ad hoc discussions are not feasible.

Document, Document, Document

There are several reasons why documentation is important. Keeping good records ensures consistency in the organisation and may also come in handy if there is the need to clear up any confusion on certain matters. It is time-consuming and it may seem as if it is getting in the way of all of the things you have to do but do it anyway. It is good for the organisation and it is a good habit for you.

Earn Your Pay, Balance Your Life

Being a manager requires sacrifices of time, physical and mental energy. Have a strong work ethic, but also find time for self-care and for your family. You cannot help and guide your department if your stores are depleted. Try to implement as much work-life balance as possible.

Final Thoughts

As a commenter mentioned, although the focus of the article seems to be on young managers, there is value in them for managers of all ages, all countries and all stages of their careers. External hires have their own unique battles, but internal hires who go from peer to supervisor have similar ones. Wishing all of our young managers the best of luck, and all managers who are new to their positions.

What other tips would you suggest to help them navigate these waters? What stood out the most to you in these articles? Are there any tips that you would like to take away and apply in your own work?